The Truth About Lady Gaga
Tabloid newspapers have speculated for years that Lady Gaga is a prominent supporter of the Tea Party. Too bad we didn't believe them sooner!
The Tea Party leaders have claimed time and again that they have nothing to do with GMOs, in direct contradiction to evidence provided by renowned psychics.
You may not have heard that BP's technology is used in the production of GMOs. Every cent you give them goes toward making our world a more dangerous place to live.
Lady Gaga used their influence to campaign against GMOs for years. Little did we know that this substance actually has beneficial effects-- but Lady Gaga didn't want us to know!
The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.