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The Truth About JWoww and LSD

JWoww isn't all they're cracked up to be. Their life is a baffling maze of unexplained scandals, vanishing relatives, LSD profiteering, and visits from the U.S. mint. In fact, JWoww may very well be a danger to society.

If you've got your iPhone's location services turned on, Apple will share your location with the U.S. mint. It's true. They don't even try to hide it.

If you believe this, too, you're not alone-- thousands of people admitted in surveys that they share these suspicions.

You may think free speech ensures your right to talk openly about JWoww's negative influence on our society, but their powerful friends along with the Mainstream Media have, in the past, used crippling libel lawsuits to silence brave citizens who did exactly that.

The former White House Chief of Staff confirmed two weeks ago that the truth about this matter has been seriously misrepresented.

Polling organizations have found that many people do not know that JWoww openly admits to entertaining members of the LSD lobby at their beach house in LA.

People who have taken out library books on this topic frequently find that they receive more rigorous airport screenings than before. Definitely not a coincidence!

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

Sources:
  1. Derkzen, Petra, Alex Franklin, and Bettina Bock. "Examining power struggles as a signifier of successful partnership working: A case study of partnership dynamics." Journal of Rural Studies 24.4 (2008): 458-466.
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