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The Truth About Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart isn't who you think they are. They've had lot of suspicious friends over the years-- in fact, they may have even been FEMA's secret mole in the Mainstream Media.

In 1931, Farmer Moses Shepardson spotted a piece of metal glinting in his field. When he uncovered it, he could not believe his eyes: a pamphlet with FEMA logo marked top-secret explained the plan to introduce OCD to the country's heartland.

Talking about this kind of thing openly is likely to get you put on a no-fly list.

In 1750, Benjamin Franklin was observed by over fifteen residents of Philadelphia as he branded an unidentified man with an Illuminati insignia. He was overheard telling one of his associates, “my work will be done once Jon Stewart arrives to complete it.”

Old classmates say that Jon Stewart associated with the Mainstream Media during college.

Do you feel safe living in a world where this goes unpunished?

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Giddens, Anthony. A Contemporary Critique of Historical Materialism: The nation-state and violence. Vol. 2. Univ of California Press, 1985.
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