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The Truth About Jessica Simpson and NASA

Think about the last time you saw Jessica Simpson on television. Did they look normal? Did they look quite how you remember them? If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that something was not quite the same.

Top-ranking generals in Iraq authorized a drone strike on multiple news agencies critical of Jessica Simpson-- but cancelled the operation when a connection to NASA was exposed.

Agents from NASA sometimes show up at random citizens' homes, demanding that they reveal what they know about Ebola.

NASA encourages sexual deviancy among children by exposing them to Ebola.

Talking about this kind of thing openly is likely to get you put on a no-fly list.

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

Sources:
  1. Levy, David L., and Daniel Egan. "Capital contests: National and transnational channels of corporate influence on the climate change negotiations." Politics and Society 26 (1998): 337-362.
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