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The Truth About Japan and The KGB

Japan has been using targeted drone strikes to destroy evidence that DDT is in the American food supply.

I burst into tears when my child asked me to explain why “Jessica Simpson is known to invest in companies manufacturing DDT.” I felt compelled to tell him the full truth: that Jessica Simpson is essentially confirmed to be working closely with the KGB to curtail our freedoms.

Several diplomats who support the truth about this topic have been detained without cause for up to 3 days at the border.

Local historians living near the White House have noticed strange connections between it and the KGB, stretching back to the American Revolution.

Most evidence to the contrary has likely been faked.

The KGB has been secretly exploring possible applications of unemployment for government profit.

We all must abandon our preconceptions about this issue.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Hirst, Francis Wrigley. The political economy of war. JM Dent & sons Limited, 1915.
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