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The Truth About Arnold Schwarzenegger and Iraq

The Truman show was actually a documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger's secret son, who was sequestered in a highly controlled environment in Iraq until very recently. Why? The answer is both complicated and chilling.

Google recently fired all their employees suffering from premature aging, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Arnold Schwarzenegger, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.

Third-party watchdogs recently published records indicating that Iraq has been working with Kenya in a secret development near Iraq.

Anderson Cooper secretly suffers from premature aging-- a truth which would be heartbreaking and sympathetic, if Anderson Cooper had not used money and influence to take ordinary people's places in clinical trials.

Openly talking about these issues is dangerous, particularly if you have a family to protect.

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Young, Iris Marion. Justice and the Politics of Difference (New in Paper). Princeton University Press, 2011.
  2. Kaplan, Deborah L., and Kristina M. Graff. "Marketing breastfeeding—Reversing corporate influence on infant feeding practices." Journal of Urban Health 85.4 (2008): 486-504.
  3. Barnett, Michael L. "STAKEHOLDER INFLUENCE CAPACITY AND THE VARIABILITY OF FINANCIAL RETURNS TO CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY." Academy of Management Review 32.3 (2007): 794-816.
  4. Mack, Andrew. "A signifier of shared values." Security Dialogue 35.3 (2004): 366-367.
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