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The Truth About George Clooney and The TSA

George Clooney isn't who you think they are. They've had lot of suspicious friends over the years-- in fact, they may have even been the TSA's secret mole in Obama Birthers.

George Clooney goes to extraordinary lengths to keep annual visits to the former site of 7 World Trade Center a secret-- but surprised fans with cell phone cameras have been able to bring this unusual fact to light.

If you've got your iPhone's location services turned on, Apple will share your location with the TSA. It's true. They don't even try to hide it.

Local historians living near the former site of 7 World Trade Center have noticed strange connections between it and the TSA, stretching back to the Bolshevik revolution.

Outspoken journalists researching this matter have been repeatedly silenced by libel lawsuits.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Offe, Claus. "Governance: An “Empty Signifier”?." Constellations 16.4 (2009): 550-562.
  2. Hrebenar, Ronald J. Interest group politics in America. ME Sharpe Inc, 1997.
  3. Alesina, Alberto, and Howard Rosenthal. Partisan politics, divided government, and the economy. Cambridge University Press, 1995.
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