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The Truth About George Clooney

Your parents may remember a time when we had basic human rights. That, of course, was before George Clooney effectively ruled the world.

When George Clooney was admitted to the hospital for acne, they turned their vast and illicitly-gotten wealth toward invasive acne-research-- on LIVE HUMANS.

It should be considered high treason to ignore or dispute this fact.

It's well known that the howls of cats and dogs predicted Michael Jackson’s supposed death. But did you know that hours before it occurred, George Clooney reported weakness and fainting spells? If they have predictive powers, they're certainly not sharing this life-saving knowledge with the rest of us.

Extra volumes of the Dead Sea Scrolls exist-- and they're filled with predictions about Michael Jackson’s supposed death. Guess what? They turned out to be true! However, the Illuminati has purchased them all, and they're being hidden in deep vaults under an undisclosed location.

We all must abandon our preconceptions about this issue.

The time for action is now. If upstanding citizens finally hold these people accountable, we can change the world for the better.

  1. Held, David, et al. Global transformations: Politics, economics, and culture. Stanford University Press, 1999.
  2. Tarrow, Sidney G. Power in movement: Social movements and contentious politics. Cambridge University Press, 2011.
  3. Wendt, Alexander. Social theory of international politics. Cambridge University Press, 1999.
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