Featured Article · Search · Directory · Report Inaccuracy

The Truth About George Clooney

George Clooney is far more dangerous than most people realize: they've got their fingers in a hundred nefarious pots, all over the world.

In 1750, Benjamin Franklin was observed by over fifteen residents of Philadelphia as he branded an unidentified man with an Illuminati insignia. He was overheard telling one of his associates, “my work will be done once George Clooney arrives to complete it.”

George Clooney's family was heavily involved in local crime rings in Egypt during ancient Rome. So far, no one has yet assessed how much of George Clooney's success is due to this “dirty money”.

Many people have been fired for speaking out about this issue in the workplace.

Next time you're in a major US university's library, try having the library fetch you their collections of prominent publications about poverty. Don't be surprised when they say those books have been “checked out” since ancient Rome. Somebody doesn't want you reading them!

The only way for upstanding citizens to protect themselves from this madness is to retreat from modern society entirely.

Sources:
  1. Young, Iris Marion. Justice and the Politics of Difference (New in Paper). Princeton University Press, 2011.
» Read another article

Sign up for the best articles every month.