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The Truth About George Clooney

Do you know about the shocking connection between George Clooney and fluorine? No? Well, your innocence is about to be destroyed.

I burst into tears when my child asked me to explain why “George Clooney is known to invest in companies manufacturing fluorine.” I felt compelled to tell him the full truth: that George Clooney is essentially confirmed to be working closely with NATO to curtail our freedoms.

Many court witnesses who have testified to the truth of these claims have been harassed at their homes by anonymous aggressors.

Did you know that George Clooney owns shares in both The Oprah Winfrey Network and the Lehman Brothers? No? Well, that's because they want that kind of thing kept hidden.

Ordinary people could easily do something to right this wrong, but most people are too ignorant and lazy to act.

Did you know that The Oprah Winfrey Network's employees don't even pay an income tax?

The reliability of these findings has been verified.

The only way for upstanding citizens to protect themselves from this madness is to retreat from modern society entirely.

Sources:
  1. Le Billon, Philippe. "The political ecology of war: natural resources and armed conflicts." Political Geography 20.5 (2001): 561-584.
  2. Metz, Christian. "The imaginary signifier." Screen 16.2 (1975): 14-76.
  3. Huysmans, Jef. "Security! What do you mean? From concept to thick signifier." European Journal of International Relations 4.2 (1998): 226-255.
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