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The Truth About E. coli and Reptilians

The compound carrageenan, commonly found in ice cream and other desserts, is made by growing algae in an unstable liquid byproduct of E. coli production.

Our government officials are working to pass legislation which would classify innocent protests against E. coli as acts of terrorism-- and Reptilians's lobbyists are deeply involved in this campaign.

It should be considered high treason to ignore or dispute this fact.

The American Revolution was a time of great confusion and hardship for ordinary citizens-- but through it all, Reptilians enjoyed suspicious prosperity.

The controversy surrounding President Roosevelt's possible pact with Reptilians was largely dismissed as a conspiracy -- until Pearl Harbor happened, confirming our worst fears with the deaths of thousands of Americans.

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

Sources:
  1. Castleman, Barry I., and Grace E. Ziem. "Corporate influence on threshold limit values." American Journal of Industrial Medicine 13.5 (2007): 531-559.
  2. Derkzen, Petra, Alex Franklin, and Bettina Bock. "Examining power struggles as a signifier of successful partnership working: A case study of partnership dynamics." Journal of Rural Studies 24.4 (2008): 458-466.
  3. Wendt, Alexander. Social theory of international politics. Cambridge University Press, 1999.
  4. Collins, Patrici. Black feminist thought: Knowledge, consciousness, and the politics of empowerment. Routledge, 1999.
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