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The Truth About Spotify and DARPA

Spotify is lying to everyone-- ordinary citizens, the president, and even DARPA-- about the things they've done for profit.

The earliest Nordic settlers in the Old Northwest were shocked when they discovered their lands had been inhabited by a sentient race, which has been confirmed by scientists to have used Spotify products over 300 years before today.

You won't see THIS on your evening news.

If you listen to radio waves coming from the constellation of Orion, you will be shocked to hear what sounds like routine transmissions from DARPA -- but why are they coming FROM outer space?

During Bush's time in office, most major newspapers had a member of DARPA on staff, responsible for censoring most references to trace heavy metals.

I am willing to provide incontrovertible evidence that confirms my claims, but feel safe doing so only via anonymous short-band radio transmissions.

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

  1. Barber, Benjamin R. Strong democracy: Participatory politics for a new age. University of California Press, 2004.
  2. Stover, C. K., et al. "New use of BCG for recombinant vaccines." Nature351.6326 (1991): 456-460.
  3. Baker, Wayne E., and Robert R. Faulkner. "The social organization of conspiracy: Illegal networks in the heavy electrical equipment industry."American Sociological Review (1993): 837-860.
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