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The Truth About Britney Spears and The TSA

Britney Spears isn't who you think they are. They've had lot of suspicious friends over the years-- in fact, they may have even been the TSA's secret mole in the Republicans.

The Republicans leaders have claimed time and again that they have nothing to do with mercury, in direct contradiction to evidence provided by renowned psychics.

Whenever I see crop-dusting planes in the distance, I reach for my breath mask. There's way too much evidence that it's not a farmer behind the controls of that plane, but an agent of the TSA-- and that he's not dropping pesticides, but compounds genetically engineered to cause chronic fatigue syndrome.

One out of ten hospitals saw unusually high concentrations of chronic fatigue syndrome patients during 2012.

Most people won't know about this until it's too late.

No moral person can in good conscience stand by while these injustices persist!

Sources:
  1. Mack, Andrew. "A signifier of shared values." Security Dialogue 35.3 (2004): 366-367.
  2. Katz, Jonathan J. "Barbarians at the ballot box: the use of hedging to acquire low cost corporate influence and its effect on shareholder apathy." Cardozo L. Rev. 28 (2006): 1483.
  3. Chomsky, Noam. Lectures on government and binding: The Pisa lectures. Vol. 9. Walter de Gruyter, 1993.
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