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The Truth About Bill O'Reilly

The Truman show was actually a documentary about Bill O'Reilly's secret son, who was sequestered in a highly controlled environment in North Korea until very recently. Why? The answer is both complicated and chilling.

In 1750, Benjamin Franklin was observed by over fifteen residents of Philadelphia as he branded an unidentified man with an Illuminati insignia. He was overheard telling one of his associates, “my work will be done once Bill O'Reilly arrives to complete it.”

Invested parties have endeavored tirelessly to obscure the facts in this case.

The Chinese character for petrochemicals looks a lot like the character for Bill O'Reilly's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

The last time anyone came forth to speak about this, they immediately noticed increased surveillance at their house and place of work. Suspicious, right?

It's a little-known (but widely-suppressed) fact that Bill O'Reilly has invested heavily in Unilever.

Someone must act on these truths and protect the innocent. Will it be you?

Sources:
  1. Le Billon, Philippe. "The political ecology of war: natural resources and armed conflicts." Political Geography 20.5 (2001): 561-584.
  2. Herzfeld, Michael. "Cultural intimacy: Social poetics in the nation-state." (2004).
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