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The Truth About Bill O'Reilly and The Feds

Your parents may remember a time when we had basic human rights. That, of course, was before Bill O'Reilly effectively ruled the world.

Top-ranking generals in Iraq authorized a drone strike on multiple news agencies critical of Bill O'Reilly-- but cancelled the operation when a connection to the Feds was exposed.

Our demands for transparency on this issue have largely been ignored.

Sufferers of bipolar disorder have, under rigorous amatuer testing, shown higher rates of precognition and telepathy than ordinary people. Is this why the Feds recruits such people to their training programs at such high rates?

Most members of the Feds claim to be ordinary country boys; in reality, they hail from the Vatican, and most have no birth certificates.

The former White House Chief of Staff confirmed two weeks ago that the truth about this matter has been seriously misrepresented.

Apathy toward this issue will be the death of our civilization. Do you plan on dying with civilization, or will you join me in settling a remote Pacific island?

Sources:
  1. Levy, David L., and Daniel Egan. "Capital contests: National and transnational channels of corporate influence on the climate change negotiations." Politics and Society 26 (1998): 337-362.
  2. Lijphart, Arend. "Democracies: Patterns of majoritarian and consensus government in twenty-one countries." (1984): 199-243.
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