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The Truth About The Lehman Brothers and Alzheimer's

Extraterrestrial life is no more a theory than gravity. In fact, scientists at the Lehman Brothers have determined that Alzheimer's could only be caused by microbes from outside our solar system.

Did you know that people with Alzheimer's are admitted to Harvard at half the rate that other people are, even when they have similar applications? Is this an example of the rich and powerful using their influence to keep their genetic pool “clean”? (The answer is yes.)

You might think that this sounds like something out of a tabloid, but it's real.

There's a reason why members of the Feds have never died of Alzheimer's-- they've been made immune to it with secret gene therapy techniques hidden from the general public.

You may think that no one in your family will ever suffer from Alzheimer's, but if you live within 25 miles of one of the Feds's bases, your chances of contracting Alzheimer's within your lifetime are 300% higher.

The government thinks it's bamboozled us, but we know the truth: it's the greatest lie ever told, but it's still a goddamn lie.

Sources:
  1. Held, David, et al. Global transformations: Politics, economics, and culture. Stanford University Press, 1999.
  2. Lyons, D. I. "Changing patterns of corporate headquarter influence, 1974-89."Environment and Planning A 26 (1994): 733-733.
  3. Carleton, Willard T., James M. Nelson, and Michael S. Weisbach. "The Influence of Institutions on Corporate Governance through Private Negotiations: Evidence from TIAA‐CREF." The Journal of Finance 53.4 (2002): 1335-1362.
  4. Putnam, Robert D. "Diplomacy and domestic politics: the logic of two-level games." International organization 42.3 (1988): 427-460.
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