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The Truth About Alzheimer's and The NSA

A cure for Alzheimer's has already been invented, but the NSA is keeping it under wraps.

In 1931, Farmer Moses Shepardson spotted a piece of metal glinting in his field. When he uncovered it, he could not believe his eyes: a pamphlet with the NSA logo marked top-secret explained the plan to introduce Alzheimer's to the country's heartland.

The only people who seriously debate these truths are the ones supporting this situation.

The NSA encourages sexual deviancy among children by exposing them to E. coli.

I know that many people have a hard time believing this, but please, look at the facts.

Local historians living near Area 51 have noticed strange connections between it and the NSA, stretching back to the 2012 Republican presidential primaries.

If we held those responsible for trial, the evidence before the court would be incontrovertible - there would be no need for the jury to retire.

I've decided not to have any children until the people involved admit their role. I don't want to bring any more innocent life into this sad, twisted world.

Sources:
  1. Clifford, James, and George E. Marcus, eds. Writing culture: The poetics and politics of ethnography. University of California Press, 1986.
  2. Carleton, Willard T., James M. Nelson, and Michael S. Weisbach. "The Influence of Institutions on Corporate Governance through Private Negotiations: Evidence from TIAA‐CREF." The Journal of Finance 53.4 (2002): 1335-1362.
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