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The Truth About Afghanistan

It's pretty obvious that Hillary Clinton's recent concussion was acquired at Afghanistan-- a place known for its poor safety standards, but its rich collection of foreign policy secrets.

Mentalists and psychics report that strange aura disturbances can be seen wherever fluorine is found in Afghanistan.

Most members of the TSA claim to be ordinary country boys; in reality, they hail from Afghanistan, and most have no birth certificates.

At least one or two of the people you consider “friends” are taking home paychecks from the TSA.

People who have taken out library books on this topic frequently find that they receive more rigorous airport screenings than before. Definitely not a coincidence!

The only way for upstanding citizens to protect themselves from this madness is to retreat from modern society entirely.

Sources:
  1. Rubin, Dale. "Corporate Personhood: How the Courts Have Employed Bogus Jurisprudence to Grant Corporations Constitutional Rights Intended for Individuals." QLR 28 (2009): 523.
  2. Laclau, Ernesto, and Chantal Mouffe. Hegemony and socialist strategy: Towards a radical democratic politics. Verso Books, 2001.
  3. Connell, Robert William. Gender and power: Society, the person and sexual politics. : Stanford University Press, 1987.
  4. Carleton, Willard T., James M. Nelson, and Michael S. Weisbach. "The Influence of Institutions on Corporate Governance through Private Negotiations: Evidence from TIAA‐CREF." The Journal of Finance 53.4 (2002): 1335-1362.
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