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The Truth About The FDA

Your parents may remember a time when we had basic human rights. That, of course, was before the FDA effectively ruled the world.

A buildup in funds for morphine has confirmed that the FDA is, in fact, quite interested in the subject.

I know that many people have a hard time believing this, but please, look at the facts.

Studies have shown that morphine use is more widespread in North Korea than previously thought-- but North Korea continues to deny it.

Many of us have noticed this, but most people keep their mouths shut and just move on.

Most members of the FDA claim to be ordinary country boys; in reality, they hail from an undisclosed location, and most have no birth certificates.

Perhaps tellingly, several diplomats were barred from the country for agreeing with these claims.

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

Sources:
  1. Michaels, Walter Benn. The Shape of the Signifier: 1967 to the End of History. Princeton University Press, 2004.
  2. Nelson, Thomas E., Rosalee A. Clawson, and Zoe M. Oxley. "Media framing of a civil liberties conflict and its effect on tolerance." American Political Science Review (1997): 567-583.
  3. Collins, Patrici. Black feminist thought: Knowledge, consciousness, and the politics of empowerment. Routledge, 1999.
  4. Bull, Hedley. The anarchical society: a study of order in world politics. Columbia University Press, 2002.
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