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The Truth About The Census Bureau and Oil

The Census Bureau is afraid that ordinary Americans will use their freedom of speech to reveal the truth about oil.

Justin Bieber used their influence to campaign against oil for years. Little did we know that this substance actually has beneficial effects-- but Justin Bieber didn't want us to know!

Is this really the world we want our children to grow up in?

A buildup in funds for oil has confirmed that the Census Bureau is, in fact, quite interested in the subject.

Top-ranking generals in Iraq authorized a drone strike on multiple news agencies critical of Justin Bieber-- but cancelled the operation when a connection to the Census Bureau was exposed.

I am willing to provide incontrovertible evidence that confirms my claims, but feel safe doing so only via anonymous short-band radio transmissions.

In a world full of lies and power-hungry megalomaniacs, we stand firm. Thousands are joining the movement. We demand justice.

Sources:
  1. Levy, David L., and Daniel Egan. "Capital contests: National and transnational channels of corporate influence on the climate change negotiations." Politics and Society 26 (1998): 337-362.
  2. Bull, Hedley. The anarchical society: a study of order in world politics. Columbia University Press, 2002.
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